Sally Meed-Ball

Sally is Brittney's cousin and heiress to a vast legwarmer empire. Although raised in the lap of luxury, she has a tendency to raise hell in dive bars. She likes to dress up in daisy dukes and tube tops, drink cheap beer and throw some punches. Hoping for Paris Hilton fame, she occasionally goes out in short skirts without underpants and passes out in a drunken stupor. No photos have been purchased by the media yet, but she is regularly in touch with television producers in attempts to get her own reality show. On her 12th birthday, she paid off a tattoo artist to give her a lovely skull tattoo and then mugged him in an alley to get her money back. All the money in the world hasn't bought this girl a shred of class. She is greedy, egotistical and has a nasty monkey bite, but will cuddle nicely when intoxicated or tired, plus she can be fun if you're into that sort of lifestyle.

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Sock Monkey: Brittney Ball

Brittney Ball is a blue-eyed, red headed spunky monkey with a great sense of humor and a passion for Latin musicians. She loves chocolate, red wine and takes her vitamin oil regularly. Brittney has a horrible singing voice, but she loves to entertain and has no fear of making a fool of herself. More than anything she longs for fame and has been trying to start her own variety show for years.

Sock Monkey, Dr. Robert R. Ryanderson

 

Dr. Robert R. Ryanderson prefers to be called Dr. Rob and has been studying non-stop since 1942. He holds several doctorate degrees: Shakespearean Literature, Greek Mythology, Biblical Legends and Earwax Research. He has worn his eyes tired and holes in his elbows, hence the need for patches. Once, when contemplating the connection between King Lear and Sallie May Student Loans, his face froze in a pensive and permanent frown. In spite of his expression, Dr. Rob has a great sense of humor that may be difficult to understand due to the high intellectual content and extent of vocabulary. Dr. Rob often is the only one laughing at his own jokes. Dr. Rob is a great tutor, if you can catch him away from his office or with his face in a book. Rubbing his elbow patches has been unscientifically proven to increase concentration and desire to study.

Sock Monkey, Katrina Kay

Katrina Kay, the winged monkey, is the star ribbon trapeze performer for Monque du Cirque's traveling show, "AHHHHHH!!!" She is incredibly strong, flexible and can spit snot balls like a gorilla. Don't let her girlish good looks fool you. She swears like a truck driver and isn't afraid to perform motorcycle tricks. However, all this toughness, masks a gentle little monkey who fears ballroom dancers and dryer lint. She loves romantic comedy and cuddles like a pro if you catch her in the mood.

Legend says rubbing the bright pink belly of a spotted circus monkey brings physical strength and long life. If she lets you get that close, let us know.

Sock Monkey, Brian Chimpernell

Brian Chimpernell is pulling himself up by the ballet slipper ribbons after being rejected from the Monque du Soleil. As a rare winged monkey, Brian was destined to become a great ribbon ballet performer, but a puce body paint allergy has made that dream impossible. However, Brian is trying to stay positive and teach Zumba at the local YMonkCA while waiting for his big break choreographing Ballywood films.

Legend states that rubbing the belly of a winged monkey will bring fortune in career and finances. Brian hopes he can catch a little of that luck for himself in addition to sharing it with others.

Merde Brian!

Jethro, The Little Pirate Monkey

Jethro is a mini-sock monkey made of new navy blue and gray socks with a pirate patch on his belly and a red heart bandanna on his head.

Jethro just showed up on our doorstep one night. We think it had something to do with one of our wilder sock monkey's nights out (Owen, we mean you), but Owen will only grab his crotch and say, "Billy Jean is not my lover." We're not really sure what that means.

Regardless, Jethro is a very sweet little monkey. He loves Pirates of the Caribbean, mashed peas and carrots, rock and roll and oddly enough, classical flute music. He sleeps through the night and doesn't cry much. He's very easy to care for and child safe.